Well, let me explain. It happened couple of months back. On my work place things were not working. There were certain assignments one has to do as a part of job deliverable. I was just not performing.
I knew affirmation works. But then when the things do not go well, you don’t even think right, let alone affirmations, right!
But I tried, just like that. I just started saying to myself, I am doing good. I am performing. Trust me, many times I just looked at mirror & said I am the performer.
Slowly it worked. I felt positive. Things were as it is outside. But something in me changed.
Initially, It was hard to believe what I was saying, but gradually I started believing it. My thought process changed. I started thinking positive.
And then things started changing outside as well. The graph of my performance took an upward turn.
It’s a small observation, I know. But point is if you pretend something, you start believing.
By saying become an imposter, I mean, pretend to be what you actually want to be if you are not already. You just need to act as if…
They say, “fake it till you make it”.
Long back I had read about it in Robin Sharma’s book WHO WILL CRY, WHEN YOU WILL DIE.
Researches have shown that when we start faking something, with repeated affirmation, the brain start believing the same. Rachon, alias Amir Khan in the movie 3 idiots was saying, “All is well” …remember!!
It’s just about becoming an imposter in life, to give it a turn. It’s about your ability to show or hide emotions, depending on the situation.
Sometimes it’s good to wear your heart on your sleeve, and sometimes it’s better to just keep people guessing about how you truly feel about something. Sometimes, it’s good to pretend & become an imposter. It really works…try it once.
You Are Important & Everything That Makes YOU…. Matter!!!
I am a self-claimed mental health activist. Because from a very tender age I have seen the how mentally stressed people suffer & make others suffer too. And I feel very intensely for those people who end their lives in an impulsive moment. I was very much disturbed when the news of actor Sushant Singh Rajpoot’s demise had surfaced.
I know this is a reality. We have people around who might be going through the same impulsive state. It doesn’t matter to what strata of society we belong to, in what profession we are in, what’s the gender…nothing matters because inside the brain, the network is same for all.
Suicide is always a permanent decision to deal with a temporary problem…. we all know that. It’s a whimsical reaction to sudden a flush of strong emotions that makes the person edgy for that vulnerable moments.
Let me clear it, Depression isn’t the only reason for it. Because It’s not that every depressed person will commit suicide or everyone who is committing suicide is depressed but those who are in depression are vulnerable for sure.
It’s very difficult to understand a person having suicidal thoughts or behavior unless you have gone through the same. Trust me, I was having chronic suicidal thoughts. Can you believe it?? I agree it could be because of some traumatic childhood/upbringing things. Or may the reason be I am too sensitive. But every one has a very sensitive side. At least once in a life time every one goes though the life’s sulking experiences & become very vulnerable. But some people just don’t find it easy to digest it. They need help. And there where I feel we can step in and save lives.
As I say, I’m very sensitive & a small trigger to my emotions edges me to that state. I had tried to end my life couple of times also. But Thankfully, saved, narrowly escaped. It’s a confession… However, Every time after I got that narrow escape, I felt, how stupid it was of me thinking of ending my life for the people, reasons or issues that bothered me a lot. In fact, after every escape I didn’t even find those things worth thinking for let alone dying for it. It’s just sheer STUPIDITY…I tell you.
But yes, I know what a person goes through just before committing suicide. Death appears easier than living. It gives tremendous courage to die, which in normal state we can never do. We fear death…right. But in THAT state, that FEAR just disappears for that moment. But later, everyone – except few who are unlucky to escape that moment – realizes that life is worth living for. Life is not just that “Particular Moment” but the countless moments we are suppose to live.
Now I am stable, I know very well how to live with it. I spoke to couple of my friends to understand why I feel that way, at first place. I spoke to experts also. Took some professional help too. And then I realized, at the end the day, It’s ME matters for me more than anyone else.
I realized that accepting that I have some mental issues is the first step to deal with it. Mental health is a reality. And then I understood that it’s okay to sad & sensitive but never hurt ourselves.
At last, I feel the best thing is to talk about it. Sometimes, we just don’t find anyone to talk how we feel. For this, I feel we should avail ourselves for others in their most vulnerable moment. And I did the same.
So, if you are reading this, and you or anyone who you know, ever go through such sudden flush of strong emotions, then please connect with me. @tina_acharya.
It’s okay Life sucks at times. It’s okay people who we trust betray us, It’s okay we face issues, unfairness, wrong people, judgements. It’s okay we make mistakes It’s okay we don’t get what we want, what we deserve….
But it’s NOT okay to hurt ourselves, end our lives…A BIG NO! Because “YOU MATTER”
The best way to deal with such occasional emotions is to understand your own emotional states. Speak to someone when you feel the surge of those emotions. It works wonders. No matter who you are, if you are reading this …feel free to talk to me or anyone else who you feel can understand your feeling… Before taking a plunge to a permanent decision…. TALK ONCE…I know I can help YOU.TRUST ME
TRUST ME, I CAN HELP YOU…I AM THERE FOR YOU…Because I understand how it feels to be in THAT STATE.
Just Leave it, when you find yourself in a wrong tale
Just Leave it, when you know it gives you nothing but pain
Just Leave It, Just Leave It, & Trust Me
The Magic Will Happen as Things will settle of its own!!!
It was in the year 2011
We had relocation from Delhi to Mumbai. My new rented house in Mumbai was smaller than that of the fully furnished flat at Delhi. Not only undersized but also there was no storage space available in my new house.
So, when the packers’ people unloaded the consignment and asked for the space to keep the unpacked things, I had no idea how to allocate them. Nevertheless, some regular things like refrigerator, Television, sofa etc were unpacked immediately and took their respective allotted places. But a lot of boxes could not get unpacked due to non-availability of space.
Undecided, we finally had to keep them the other bedroom. And it was looking like that of a warehouse. A total mess. I am a very sorted person. I just can’t be comfortable if things are not organized. As expected, I was mentally very upset for this. I couldn’t free my mind. Every time I had a look in that room, I would feel very distressed. Clutter is something I really hate.
I felt as if the unorganized thing boxes) had occupied the whole space in my MIND. Every time I look at them, they were quite annoying. I kept thinking how to organize them. I was just unable to get them out of my mind. In fact, I was so stressed that I fall ill and became unwell for a week.
In those days my friend Rachna from Delhi called me up to know my whereabout. Whether we got settled or not. I told her how I was feeling. Then she told me, “Tina, Just Leave It, don’t think so much about it stressing your mind. Things will be fine with time.”
It was difficult not to think about it but there was no option also. I wasn’t physically well too. So, slowly I stopped thinking much about it that time.
Days passed. Then slowly I realized that I have to stop thinking about them completely. Because nothing could be done immediately. I had to stop worrying anyway. With every passing day I started accepting the mess, getting used it. When we resist, we feel difficulty in accepting. #Fact. So probably I had stopped resisting the reality. And it worked.
Later my husband and I decided to go for some storage furniture as per the requirement slowly but surely. Till then, we let it as it is”. I just leave it as it is!!! Later on, everything was fine and nicely accommodated. The boxes were unpacked & certain things were discarded. Rest of the things were kept well organized.
Today when I look at this incident though it appears as a very trivial yet I find it as an “piece” very tactfully scripted by The Universe to teach me a very good lesson. With this incident I understood that Life is like this. We have many things to do. But sometime we don’t have enough resources. At least in particular moments. Again, however smart we are…. we cannot do anything unless we have adequate resources for it…. right!!!
May be sometimes our resources in terms of money, emotion…etc are not sufficient to take care of our immediate need. Sometime this kind of situation arises for a temporary period and may be sometime permanently they remain as it is. However, whether it is temporary or permanent in nature… usually they lead us to keep worrying. Sometimes, in fact we worry because we expect too much out of a situation. External things happen leading to some kind of mess in our life.
But thing is, we need to accept it first, then accommodate and then sort it out, in whatever possible way.
Life is full of desires, dreams and responsibilities. Also, it has some short of missing things in terms of knowledge, time, education or finance. In short… there will be always a crash between requirements and resources. So, whenever there is a collision between requirements and resources it is better to simply “JUST LEAVE IT” and stop worrying about it. Things will take care of themselves. Cool your mind…after all we are not here to do everything at any time nor could we ever do it like that. Isn’t it??
JUST LEAVE IT….ALLOW IT TO SETTLE DOWN ON IT”S OWN!!!
Often, we allow our heart & soul be hurt & damage by the situations, people & challenges. But life is all about holding the ground even if it’s tough. Survival of the fittest…as Darwin said. Sometimes we can just fake it, because that will help us to make it.
You are born to fly, and in dreams you remember the soul has wings…Robert Moss
GhaaTe kaa Saudaa, means a Deficit deal or a Loss-Making Deal, anything which causes loss, a deal which results in loss. More precisely a deal, a situation or circumstances where loss is imminent!!
Loss no matter in what aspect of life, be it in relationship, business, profession, finances, people or anything of that matter, it sucks. A Loss invariably rattles our nerves. If it is deep then it damages to the core.
But again, Loss is also inevitable in life. We Have to face it at some point of life for sure. Not even once, it could be number of times in our entire time span. We are ought to make wrong decisions or may be the timing is wrong or it may happen that something suddenly comes up resulting in a loss.
So, as I understand, Managing Loss is a major factor in life. But most of the time we fail to deal with it properly. It takes a toll on us, on our physical, emotional, mental & psychological level leaving with irreparable scars.
Sometimes, some losses are so deep that it literally becomes traumatic. I feel everyone would resonate with me on this.
There are number of ways to deal with the loss. However, I would write here a simple way for understanding.
These days I am exploring SHARE TRADING IN STOCK MARKET!!! There are different types of trading like option, Equities, Future, Commodity…etc. Some other time will discuss about all of them. Let me talk about Option Trading that is done in a regular way. Option means more or less a gamble but with proper knowledge. TIMING is very important in in any stock trading, when you are entering & Exiting!!
Once one of My Friends bought an Option at a Particular price. However, the price started falling just after he bought. It’s normally. It falls & then recovers, shoots up and you get your profit booking. So, he waited. But it was a wrong timing. It started falling further. He waited for the next day.
It again went down. In a hope to minimise he waited again. The loss amount kept increasing. It came to such a point that recovery was almost impossible. Only thing was to reduce the loss. But again, it didn’t happen. Finally, I asked him to exit it immediately. Thank God, he listened to me & Exited. 3/4th of the amount was already lost from that trade. But the moment he exited; it went down even further. And it never came up. So, he was happy that at least he could retain 25% of his money.
He already managed the loss with some more trade. But it took time because the loss was BIG. Had he exited earlier, he would have managed less loss. Isn’t it? And let me not talk about the kind of stress he had to go through during that time. When you lose money in Stock Market, I tell you it SUCKS!!!! For some period, he was scared of doing any trade. He just considered it as the end of it. But slowly with time he again started with baby steps, recovered the loss. And now he makes it a point to “Reduce Loss” as much possible as. Balancing is very important.
That is why there is a concept of putting STOP LOSS in Trading. You can limit your Loss and have a target of your profit booking. The Maximum Loss that you can manage to have, you can decide.
My Best Friend Rachna always says that “Jab koi GhaaTe kaa Saudaa, ho jata hai to immediately usmein se nikal jana chahiye. Bhale hi you again buy that particular trade in lower price. But nikal jana chahiye jahan loss ho raha hai” How True It is?
It’s applicable to life too. Whenever we face such timings, trust me get out of it, ASAP. Ghate Ka saudaa ho jata hai. Nobody does it knowingly. Whether it is relationship, Job, Profession, Study or Business. It’s okay to face Loss. But don’t allow that Loss to damage you to the core.
For example, let’s say someone faced a Sudden Breakup. Think it as a Loss. Now, it will Suck. But stop it further destroying you challenging your ability to trust again. It happens. But It shouldn’t happen. It’s just a wrong timing. Nobody is right or wrong. Nothing is right or wrong actually. It’s just about timing. So once time becomes right, things will fall in place. But if we allow it to damage us, trust me, even right time won’t heal you entirely.
Similarly, it’s applicable to all kinds of loss. Don’t Make A Temporary Loss Leave a Permanent Scar in You!! GhaaTe kaa Saudaahai to it’s okay; Get Out of It ASAP!!!
I know you are different from a teacher because, a teacher teaches a lesson first and takes the exam next but YOU take tests first and then teach a lesson. In fact, you are just an Institution in Yourself and I am a Student of Life. You are the Syllabus, You are the teacher, you are question and you are the answer paper. You are the lessons and you are the certifications. You give equal opportunity to everybody, no matter from where one has to start or one has to end.
With you I have learnt that Life takes a number of turns throughout its entire span. It may not be kind to anyone all the times. So too with me…! And that’s where I leant many things. There are tough times which really tested my courage, my abilities & capabilities of facing unfavorable situations. At times, I was done. But with your soft approach from within I learnt to be a strong nerved person.
Today is your 16th B-Day. I know you had so many plans which just couldn’t fall in line. There are unpredictable developments which came up and we have to comply with that. But you know what that’s fine…That’s life also. Sometimes it happens that way only to give you a different dimension to look at life.
It seems as if the moments just went in jiffy. How can it be possible that sixteen years have passed since the first time I held you in my arms? I remember every detail about your birth, and often rerun that day in the silver screen of my mind. I still remember how the nurse handed me a tiny bundle of joy wearing an angelic beam on the face and wrapped up in white. I just felt like I got the world in my arms. You know what I always wished I could go back and relive it one more time. I swear!!
I always think that I must have done something heavenly good, in this life, last life, whatever they say that I am blessed with a son like you. You have created a love inside of me so fierce, so indestructible, so unrelenting, so unconditional and eternal.
Today you are 16 and I am proud that you are on the right way to grow up as an amazing young man. The shine on your face and the light on your character always affirm me that probably we have been rightly doing our parenting, at least. I am incredibly proud of you as you never disappointed me to be a nice boy. Honestly, I don’t have any set of high expectations in terms of material achievements from you. I know you have the strength and potency to carve out whatever you want from the nature and I believe everyone is destined to archive whatever destiny has stored for them.
I want you to keep that confidence and poise you have now. It often surprises me how people are drawn to you. How easily you make friends. I can send you to a camp half way across the country, knowing nobody, and you come home with a dozen new best friends. I admire your quiet strength in the way you accept the unfair things that happens to you. You keep moving forward, never letting them drag you down.
Keep on trying new things; Continue to meet new people, never be afraid of exploring the unknown; you never know what door opens if you just put your steps out there, And face the challenges head on, You will make mistakes, but its okay because that’s how you learn lessons and become a better person. I have certainly made my share of them, and still make them today. Those mistakes created the path to the amazing life I have today. Doing mistake is human and accepting it and correcting the same is the process of being a better human.
You know I am not here lecturing you anything on your special day. In fact I always feel you have taught me more that what I have taught you. You taught me that we don’t need a reason to smile and celebrate life. You taught me patience. I learnt from you that screaming at life does help you accomplish anything. Instead be calm and let things pass. You flamed the goodness in me, watered the innocence, purity and childlike composure in me to endure the hard waves t times. You taught me not to sweat the small things and better learn new things instead. You never really care what people think of you. You choose to see the good in people, and stand up for others even when you are standing alone. Trust me because of you my life has become much more gratifying
However I have been a lecturing mom at times just because that’s the way mom are supposed to be. I know you tag me as a #TooSanskari mom but moms by default are too Sanskari, always. I don’t want/expect anything from you in return because you have given me much more.
I pray your life is everything you dreamed it could be. Remember how loved you are. You are my sweet baby, mom’s little hero, dad’s best cool dude…We will all always be here for you – your biggest fans.
I want all of your cherished dreams to come true. I never want you to feel unworthy or undeserving of anything, because you deserve the absolute best that life has to offer.
My only wish is be a good human being because the world has a dearth of such species.
Your story is just beginning. I can’t wait to watch you write it…
Happy B-Day Once again.
With life what I observed that it’s more about how we look at life than the life itself…This poem is dedicated for on your 16th B-Day…
Life is a melody sweetest only when
We live it happily in the laughter lane
Life is a magic, strange one though
We believe in its miracles, every moment & so
Life is curse, when we hurt someone
Never feeling the ache, again & again
Life is tragic, when we allow ourselves to be hurt
Feeling frail & puny, which are simply we are not
Life is an adventure, if we dare to dream
Our destiny dances with glory, in the silver screen
Every day on earth is a Theater Day
And We are all actors of a DIVINE PLAY
Life is a Drama and We are here to Perform
Finding its Purpose and Act as per its Norm
Let’s Put on Those Make-ups and Masks
And Resolute To Perform Our Best
Life Is Full Of Typos and Errors
Some May Be Auto Corrected
Some Will Never….
Life is a misadventure, when we fear
Of losing those people whom we adore
Life is an institution, if we love to learn
The wisdom it offers, with its pros and cons
Life is a dream in the fantasy land
With the proverbial genie and its magic wand
Life is love, if we have a tender heart
The best thing on the Universe and on the planet Earth!!!
This is My Post for The Alphabet L #AToZChallenge 2020 by @blogchatter in the Month of April 2020
Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans — John Lennon
Life is a Gift, Life is Beautiful!!!
This is Tina and this is my Brand New blog. I have just made it live having 25% of the work done on it, only to participate in #BlogchatterAtoZ. Though I had been resolute to take up the challenge this year, but last few months had been quite taxing on me making any kind of writing works out of mind. Also couldn’t work on this website. Well, at least I could made it live. I am very bad word press, currently learning it to do it by myself. So I will appreciate all suggestions, criticisms and knowledge sharing from you all to improve the appearance and performance of this website.
Tina ki Duniya is a small world of mine. It’s actually a window through which I view the world and accordingly my thoughts and observations are shaped. Different aspects of life always fascinated me and I could never find a particular facet of it to reflect upon only. Life itself has always very much absorbing for me.
So my theme for the #BlogchatterAtoZChallenge will be Life itself…i.e @life.
There will be stories, real life anecdotes, pictures, quotes and many more things in it. Also will include some posts contributed to me as a promise to publish. I think at the end it will appear like a platter with different aspects of life served on it. Hope the write ups will be up to the expectation level of readers. I promise the time spend on this will be worth of it.
Ideally, with every moment of life one should grow and become mature. But with me, it’s just the opposite. Even if I know more what I knew till yesterday, I still feel like a neophyte at times. Often it Seems, as if “My Known Territory” is directly proportional to “The Unknown Territory” of life: the former grows, the later expands more and more. Every day, I step into the world with a tenderfoot having same set of queries, same amount of curiousness and intuitiveness. Seems, Life is always about being in “Probation eternally”. Every day is a New Day…and we are just as armature as we were always.
It reminds me of a beautiful and profound saying of Rumi. “The closer I reach, the farther I know myself from you.” Once we start learning and growing, we became aware such a vast chunk of existence is unknown to us.